Why not make something simplier? Such as:
"When this card is Summoned, you can target 1 "(type of monster)" monster your opponent controls; return that target to the hand, and if you do, you lose 1000 Life Points. This card must be face-up on the field to activate and to resolve this effect."
Then you just make 1 version of the card for each type (Effect, Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, Xyz, etc).
By the way, this is a cool idea for an archetype.
Edited by user
2015-07-15T16:20:00Z
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Reason: Not specified